YEAR 1605

a lowly 5 shillings a week, bloody hell, i knew i shouldst hast gone with the london company, instead of the travelling. i heareth they art getting paid 10 them bugg'rs. i shouldst geteth a raiseth having to dealeth with all these naughty, nay good, cockroaches, accusing me of being unruly, the only threat i am to their ‘peaceful society’…. . oh hello sir, thou surpris'd me, don’t worryeth, i am a lov'r… not a fight'r. thither aren’t any bett'r hands then mineth to learneth all the best of the ‘king’s men’ theatre company from. our plays hither art simple, we don't needeth to be o'erly exagg'rat'd to be enjoyed, thus allowing our worketh to be easily und'rstood as we focus on the imp'rtant fact'rs, such as the language. i began liketh most boys, in joining the company as an apprentice, i was then taught by the great richard burbage who was one of the seni'r act'rs within the company. as a p'rf'rm'r high expectations art plac'd on mine should'rs, i am expect'd to make shift bodkin fighteth (to looketh good onstage of course), singeth and danceth all the while having a good mem'ry f'r learning lines. they breedeth em’ tough hither in the country, i beteth them city slick'rs ain’t got nothing on me. s'rry f'r that dram rant thither, that was highly uncivilis'd of me.

of course the companies hither art only openeth to men. distaff art ‘apparently’ allow'd to worketh onstage in oth'r parts of europe, but not hither in london and definitely not hither in the surrounding countryside. distaff art weak'r, they needeth to be protected, besides what good comes of having a woman tag along travelling with thou, she just demolishes all the fun. ah gramercy! that’s mine scheduleth f'r the day, oh aye ‘the m'rchant of venice’ mine minion! i geteth to playeth shylock in this p'rf'rmance, it’s always nice to playeth a role that hath a happy ending. the m'rcy that is shown to that vengeful jew, who lacks the religious grace to understandeth the imp'rtance of his conv'rsion to christianity to saveth his soul, allowing him to entereth into heaven. oh an looketh what a wond'rful aft'rnoon, the openeth air p'rf'rmance will be a hiteth tonight! by the way, we useth nay scen'ry and a minimum amount 'r props art allowed, thus the action moves smoothly and we can be down at the othergates by 10… just kidding…. music and costumes also addeth to the effect. i guesseth because we art doing ‘the m'rchant of venice’ today it wilt cullionly ‘hamlet’ is tom'rrow, oh maneth. well anyway, i best be off, the playeth isn’t going to performeth itself!

(in english)

A lowly 5 shillings a week, bloody hell, I knew I should have gone with the London Company, instead of the travelling. I hear they are getting paid 10 them buggers. I should get a raise having to deal with all these insolent, no good, cockroaches, accusing me of being unruly, the only threat I am to their ‘peaceful society’….. oh hello there Sir, you surprised me, don’t worry, I am a lover… not a fighter. There aren’t any better hands then mine to learn all the best of the ‘King’s Men’ theatre company from.

Our plays here are simple, we don't need to be overly exaggerated to be enjoyed, thus allowing our work to be easily understood as we focus on the important factors, such as the language.

I began like most boys, in joining the company as an apprentice, I was then taught by the great Richard Burbage who was one of the senior actors within the company. As a performer high expectations are placed on my shoulders, I am expected to be able to sword fight (to look good onstage of course), sing and dance all the while having a good memory for learning lines. They breed em’ tough here in the country, I bet them city slickers ain’t got nothing on me. (Sorry for that little rant there, that was highly uncivilised of me!)

Of course the companies here are only open to men. Women are ‘apparently’ allowed to work onstage in other parts of Europe, but not here in London and definitely not here in the surrounding countryside. Women are weaker, they need to be protected, besides what good comes of having a woman tag along travelling with you, she just demolishes all the fun.

Ah thankyou! That’s my schedule for the day, oh yes ‘The Merchant of Venice’ my favourite! I get to play Shylock in this performance, it’s always nice to play a role that has a happy ending. The mercy that is shown to that vengeful Jew, who lacks the religious grace to understand the importance of his conversion to Christianity to save his soul, allowing him to enter into heaven. Oh an look what a wonderful afternoon, the open air performance will be a hit tonight! By the way, we use no scenery and a minimum amount or props are allowed, thus the action moves smoothly and we can be down at the pub by 10… Just kidding…. music and costumes also add to the effect. I guess since were doing ‘The Merchant of Venice’ today it must mean ‘Hamlet’ is tomorrow, oh man.

Well anyway, I best be off, the play isn’t going to perform itself!